Despite their bad actions and attitudes, still loved his daughter, and the years of alienation were a torture that ruined his health and other areas of his life as he left “to reach it.” This father did something destructive, in its upbringing. But parents are not the only place where this happens. Many people do in other areas of life and the result is the same – personal ruin. This occurs when individuals try to live the life of another person for them. Whether as a parent, employer, spouse, or any other relationship which they operate, can not live the life of another person for them. This is probably the fastest way to self-destruction that exists on the planet today. The same problem is common in the workplace. When a chief or supervisor is a person’s micromanagement to the point where little control of every action creates rebellion. The person who is trying to sabotage the authority figure, or will quit. This puts the person who is trying to take control in a position of always striving to keep the other person in his place. After a point, fatigue and things begin to spiral out of control.
Here’s the problem. The nature of human beings is such that each person has the capacity and the internal drive to exercise their free will. People will do almost anything to achieve it. Families have been destroyed, businesses have gone bankrupt, and wars have been fought, all in the name of achieving freedom. Why not take a different approach. Instead of trying to control people, simply define the parameters that must exist for the organization to run smoothly, and allow people to make their own way within those limits. Instead of generating the rebellion, this will make a person feel appreciated and respected. They will appreciate and respect you in return. If you want things to be different in your life, then do not look to see how you go about changing others. Look for ways to change yourself. You simply can not go inside the head of another person and change them. Try to destroy you. But you can make a difference yourself. Then, instead of ruin, is the growth and fulfillment that you are seeking.