I was in a constant state of the disunity. Stirred in me the feeling of hatred, the desire arose after destruction, and at the same time I all with my whole other being against it, so drove with firmness in the opposite direction. You may want to visit New York Life to increase your knowledge. Although fainting one, I knew which also always my most deepest wish to love, what to, increasing my lack of understanding the process as a whole. The conflict had been a deliberate experiential and constant state, but also occasionally focused and exceptionally intense witness the hatred or love. “I touched even in moments of the original state, the love as such, namely that I him” love already, and this changed nothing in the reality of my simultaneous experience this irrepressible destructiveness yet. It was undoubtedly a conflict, an internal columns being which I saw only rare in this outspoken clarity and absoluteness and which certainly spectacular pointed out the fundamental poles of duality.

There were a to realize huge no and an equally huge Yes to life and both were my entire room as virtually motionless in my inner space, engaging, actually verkundigend the freedom of my choice, and I didn’t know what to do. But that wasn’t enough, the ultimate increase found now is, that my enemy mood spread to the entire black population and I, when I went on the road and met a dark-skinned people, wore out incredible inner struggles of faith, who fought from hate and love in me. Now I had really arrived at a real level of pain, and the regular nightmares, I now had the theme inspired by close of course, still completely exhausting me. My subjective feeling told me that I is about, to be mad or about to die. That this is a natural process of fighting must, must surrender and find peace, was at this moment still not clear to me, so I of course felt pretty terrible and so delivered, that I fought off inner death struggles.